Think it’s your lover’s responsibility to make sure you climax? If you’re sexually dissatisfied, do you believe that it’s your partner’s fault? Well, think again. Girls, it’s time we took ownership of our sexual pleasure!
What About the Guy?
I’m not saying that our husbands, boyfriends and lovers don’t have a part to play. However, if your lover isn’t offering what you need to bring you to orgasm, the ball is still very much in your court. Have you told him what you’d like from him? Chances are, you haven’t, because that’s not the way we work. We tell them “everything’s fine,” and think if you don’t know what’s wrong, I’m not going to tell you.
Men, most of them anyway, aren’t psychic and they’re spectacularly bad at picking up on our subtle hints. Well, to them they’re subtle, to us they’re about as subtle as a brick. And this is the point, men and women think differently, process information differently and men, unlike women, don’t always do so well at reading between the lines.
When it comes to sex, you certainly can’t expect him to know what you need. Even if he’s an experienced lover, (or claims to be) you are unique, as are your sexual needs. If you wait for him to ’work out’ what pleases you best, you might be a very old woman. Of course, if you ’fake’ orgasm or pretend that everything is hunky-dory in the sex department, he’ll never feel the need to figure out what you want.
How to Take Ownership of Your Orgasm
If you’re not experiencing orgasm each and every time you have sex, it is your reasonability to do something about it. First, as mentioned above, it is important to talk to your lover. However, there are a number of other things that you should do too, including:
Don’t be embarrassed about masturbating during sex. There is nothing in sexual etiquette that says you shouldn’t. In fact, you’re lover will probably find the sight of you touching yourself, highly arousing. He certainly won’t take offense.
Try different positions. Don’t just lay back and expect him to do all the work. In fact, if you want to ensure your orgasm, you’re better off on top, where you can control the speed and angle of the thrusts.
Take some time every day to exercise your PC muscles. The more control you have over your PC muscles, the more powerful your orgasm can be. Kegel exercises can be done anytime almost anywhere, so it doesn’t require any special time taken out of your day.
Find your G-Spot. Located about 1-3 inches inside your vagina, on the anterior wall, your G-Spot can pack an orgasmic punch. Once you’ve located it, it requires firm constant stimulation in order to result in an orgasm.
Above all, remember that your orgasm is just as much yours to get, as it is for someone else to give. If you’re not satisfied, do something about it. Take charge of your sex life and your pleasure.